Thieves in the night

No, I’m not unbiased about this and yes, I am a little upset about it. I also said I wouldn’t blog about it but enough other people are — on the other side, and sometimes in a way that’s just a little too passive-aggressive smug — that I feel entitled to give my own point of view. I’ll keep things unspecific, especially since it’s not the first time I’ve experienced this type of event and though the names, faces and  games may change, the behaviour doesn’t seem to. So much for maturing.

If you’re going to start a new, breakaway guild, fine. But don’t start a fight to do it, because that causes drama and bad feelings that really, really weren’t necessary to begin with. You’d be surprised how many people will just nod and understand when you say a situation doesn’t quite suit you and you’re going to try and create something that does.

If you’re going to join this breakaway guild, at least have the courtesy and courage to say goodbye to people. Don’t leave the guild without a word. We’re not fucking lepers and we’re not the bad guys and we’re due, I feel, at least that much.

Who we play with in MMOs is our own business, I firmly believe that. I do, however, also believe that calmness and (yes, I do harp on about it) courtesy make things so much easier. Instead, it feels like there was a falling out that needn’t have happened and I don’t know whether to be angry or just really disappointed that people I thought were friends, or at least amicable acquaintances, didn’t think enough of me to talk to me, if only to say “Hey, this setup doesn’t suit my style, I’m moving elsewhere, but I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

It’s not that difficult.

18 responses to “Thieves in the night

  1. Sadly, the cowardice of people is utterly disgusting.

    You see it in life, too.

    When people feel guilty about something, they brew up some sort of righteous-anger. They get upset and have a fit and start a fight. You can’t feel guilty and simultaneously be angry at someone else because you believe its their fault.

    So people bury their guilt in anger. Cowardice, I say. I wish children would face the fact that they’re doing something wrong. Any time someone leaves in a righteous fury, you can bet that they’re burying their guilty feelings regarding their selfish actions.

    By releasing anger, they call out those who may actually feel some relation to the anger to stand up. They reach out for some sort of support that their actions were right and they shouldn’t feel guilty.

    Oh, the things that run behind anger.

    I’m sorry Ysh!! I got a little off topic but those losers leaving without so much as a word is just as bad as them leaving in a huge huff!! I hope your guild picks up and moves on. Immaturity runs through WoW like a non-terminal illness!

    Dont let it affect your fun Ysh. You’re still playing how you like to play, and managing to do so in a respectable fashion. ❤ Ysharros.

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  2. The thing is, they’re not losers — they’re nice people, and people I had fun with for almost six months.

    If they were asshats I wouldn’t care and the situation as it turned out wouldn’t bother me. It just didn’t need to happen the way it did, and I think that’s what galls me the most.

    C’est la vie, I guess. 😉

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  3. I’ll admit, I’m a guilty party. But I didn’t leave out of cowardice…well just laziness. So I deserve any rage you might have.
    I did it so quickly, and I didn’t think anyone would really care. A mistake on my part, something that echoes my real life. I just assume no one would care what I do.
    I’m sorry Ysh 😦

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  4. Accepted. 🙂

    I didn’t consider laziness in my rant, though I should be well aware of human apathy. Not that I ever suffer from it myself. /nod

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  5. RP, not everyone fueled by righteous anger is covering something. There actually are things to get angry at.

    That said, it’s pretty easy to spot faux righteous anger, which is indicative of immaturity, if not guilt.

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  6. Wow RP, something touch a nerve or what?

    Anyway, dunno what happened to get you upset Ysh, but I’m sorry it has. I never thought CoW was an “exclusive” guild…I’m not even sure how one “leaves” CoW. 🙂

    Or are you talking about a specific in-game Guild (which I always think of as just as tool, and the website to be the “real” CoW).

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  7. I’m not as upset anymore — articulating a frustration / disappointment usually helps, and I’m really not much of a grudge-holder.

    And yes, I agree with your views on the CoW. I’m still mulling over the guilds/social systems in MMOs post I want to do, but right now it remains amorphous and huge, and even I shrink at posting more than 2000 words in one sitting (though I did come close with the year end post).

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  8. Hi Ysh,

    Not the best of times to say hello obviously 😦

    Been following ur blog since I googled ‘Blog WAR’…. seems all games are the same when it comes to Guilds/Kin.. & politics.

    Just wanted to pop on & say ur writings on WAR and subsequent musings on moving back onto WoW really hit a nerve. Thanks to you I have re-bought WoW, Burning & Lich’thingy.

    All my old chars were still there & now I am having FUN!!!

    No Guild, no pressure to lvl/raid etc… can pick what I feel to do today….. absolutely bloody marvellous..

    Done all the WoW.,LoTor. AoC, WAR drama…. thnx to you I am actually enjoying loging on to a MMO again. Might be a bit rough atm for you re: Guild stuff…. but you made one retired WoW Rogue giggle… thank you 🙂

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  9. @ Maxa, I’m amazed to hear anyone I haven’t strong-armed actually reads this! Hell, half of them I even have to pay, though one of them takes his bribe entirely in bananas so it could be worse.

    I’m very flattered. Now I may also be self-conscious. Do I have to pay attention to what I write?

    Does my bum look big on this blog? 😮

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  10. Well I respect your feeling Ysh, sorry I never got to play with you. Your toon must have joined when I went on xmas vacation out of town. When I came back most people were gone. So I apologize for not saying good bye when I left but no one was ever on to say good bye to. Wish you the best.

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  11. I know Var, and I miss playing with you 😦

    I think what I really meant to say, apart from the angry rant, is that I wish it hadn’t driven people apart. I still don’t think it really needs to, but maybe I’m being naive.

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  12. Getting strong armed by Ysh is my favorite thing!!

    But seriously, I have no idea what the situation is or what has happened, but I have been in a few guilds in various games that have fractured for one reason or another, and it’s never a fun thing to go through.

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  13. Really, what I saw happen was a good chunk of people who couldn’t play over the holidays. When this happened, those that could play during the course of the holidays got askeered, and thought the guild for WoW was “crashing”, and instead of waiting and seeing they jumped to a new guild that was forming.

    That’s how I took it anyway, and yes… I’m still miffed by it.

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  14. I don’t think there needs to be any drama around this. I’m sorry you’re miffed by it, but things change and people have to do what they feel they have to do to stay happy or healthy). Be it moving to find work, cutting out beer night because they’ve got kids now or switching over to another guild that suits them for what ever reason.

    For me, it was consolidating people I know on one server and being able to focus on playing WoW like I wanted to (my attention was split between my main on Firetree and my alts on Rexxar).

    Long time online gaming friends (10+ years) + a guild that suited all three of us + CoW being on the server = win for me.

    I’m much happier having more good people around me and some long time gaming buddies back in the game.

    Maybe some arrangement could be made for an alliance channel or something?

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  15. I’m not miffed about the event, I’m miffed about how it happened.

    But it’s over and done with now anyway (and I’m not saying that in one of those passive-aggressive ways where you SO know it’s not over and done with, heh 😉 ).

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